The Creation, by James Weldon Johnson

AND God stepped out on space,
And He looked around and said,
"I'm lonely --
I'll make me a world."

And far as the eye of God could see
Darkness covered everything,
Blacker than a hundred midnights
Down in a cypress swamp.

Then God smiled,
And the light broke,
And the darkness rolled up on one side,
And the light stood shining on the other,
And God said, "That's good!"

Then God reached out and took the light in His hands,
And God rolled the light around in His hands
Until He made the sun;
And He set that sun a-blazing in the heavens.
And the light that was left from making the sun
God gathered it up in a shining ball
And flung it against the darkness,
Spangling the night with the moon and stars.
Then down between
The darkness and the light
He hurled the world;
And God said, "That's good!"

Then God himself stepped down --
And the sun was on His right hand,
And the moon was on His left;
The stars were clustered about His head,
And the earth was under His feet.
And God walked, and where He trod
His footsteps hollowed the valleys out
And bulged the mountains up.

Then He stopped and looked and saw
That the earth was hot and barren.
So God stepped over to the edge of the world
And He spat out the seven seas;
He batted His eyes, and the lightnings flashed;
He clapped His hands, and the thunders rolled;
And the waters above the earth came down,
The cooling waters came down.

Then the green grass sprouted,
And the little red flowers blossomed,
The pine tree pointed his finger to the sky,
And the oak spread out his arms,
The lakes cuddled down in the hollows of the ground,
And the rivers ran down to the sea;
And God smiled again,
And the rainbow appeared,
And curled itself around His shoulder.

Then God raised His arm and He waved His hand
Over the sea and over the land,
And He said, "Bring forth! Bring forth!"
And quicker than God could drop His hand.
Fishes and fowls
And beasts and birds
Swam the rivers and the seas,
Roamed the forests and the woods,
And split the air with their wings.
And God said, "That's good!"

Then God walked around,
And God looked around
On all that He had made.
He looked at His sun,
And He looked at His moon,
And He looked at His little stars;
He looked on His world
With all its living things,
And God said, "I'm lonely still."

Then God sat down
On the side of a hill where He could think;
By a deep, wide river He sat down;
With His head in His hands,
God thought and thought,
Till He thought, "I'll make me a man!"

Up from the bed of the river
God scooped the clay;
And by the bank of the river
He kneeled Him down;
And there the great God Almighty
Who lit the sun and fixed it in the sky,
Who flung the stars to the most far corner of the night,
Who rounded the earth in the middle of His hand;
This Great God,
Like a mammy bending over her baby,
Kneeled down in the dust
Toiling over a lump of clay
Till He shaped it in His own image;

Then into it He blew the breath of life,
And man became a living soul.
Amen. Amen.

Pregnancy Dreams

Sooo, I always hear about people having freak-o dreams while they prego, like the baby going all Alien and busting out their stomachs, or birthing monkeys or whatever. I never really had one extreme like that, the closest being my cousins 1yr old trying to choke me out in my slip. Now last night was something special.

I blame this dream on nights filled with longer hours(winter),which cause for more t.v plus my very over active imagination. Not to long ago I watched this show on TV One called “The Will To live” and on this episode this lady was pregnant right, and was basically kidnapped by this woman who wanted to take her baby from her. She seriously sliced threw her stomach, to her uterus and had plans on taking this women’s baby out of her. Crazy stuff man.

So in the dream I go to my Dr’s appointment for my normal 3 week checkup. They take me and my Mommy (yes I still call her Mommy) to the room and leave us there for hours, so long that we end up falling asleep in there and I find my self in a whole other dream about..idk what, all I remember is Santa Clause in a pink outfit, but any way the Dr. comes and wakes us up so we can hear the babies heart beat, which WE DONT HEAR!

So the lady panics and is like “lets try to find him on the sonogram.” So she does the hooking up, the jelly crap and all that and is the baby on the screen? No. So Im like wtf. before I got hear, I was carrying a baby. So the lady goes on inspecting my stomach and points out this huge scar on it and she runs out talking about she’s gonna get the doctor. the doctor comes in and inspects the scar then presses this alarm, talking about I’m a victim of something that starts with a P. So Im like what does that mean? And she’s goes on basically saying that while I was sleep, someone came in the room, cut me open and took my son. I was seriously heartbroken, I was crying so hard in that dream, I woke up crying.

This is when I go nutts trying to figure out the hidden meaning in the dream, but since I watched that show, and I already think that people want to steal my son, I’ll blame it on my imagination plus pregnancy…and eating hella late

My Lil Guy

A Lil Update-alation

Idk why, but I love putting “alation” at the end of words, it annoys the crap out of my Mom an probably everyone else, but whatever, blah blah.

It’s Me! I’m back!

I fell like it’s been forever and a day since I been able to get on my blog and…idk, blog I guess. Water attacked my computer and destroyed it (R.I.P LaLa), and like a week after that my dear little laptop crashed! And then my phone sucks salty balls, so I kinda sorta been on a forcefull techno diet.

Glad thats over, cause I was straight dieing of boreDUMB (boredumb: So bored that you began doing dumb things, like drawing on your belly…and the walls). But any way, since I was cuttoff from the world I have came into some new tings, small things, but new things, The biggest being pregnant.

I’am 6months now, carrying a little bitty boy and I couldnt be happier about it. It took a minuete to get here ofcourse, my pregnancy was not apart of my 5yr plan, but it fits perfectly now. I wont lie and say it’s fun, my boobs are huge (as if they werent big before) and they ach ALL THE TIME, and I guess people seeing a belly coming down the street takes that as an invisible invitation to touch it, but besides that (and the back pains, and the every 5min peeing) everything else is cool.

Soo on top of growing a kid, school is school. Im sitting this semester out because the awsome side effects of the 1st trimester did not mix with going to class, and since the next semester begins around the time Im exspected to..ya know.. pop, I’ll be taking the next semester online. I soo miss going to school, I be straight bored.com.

Moving on, getting into bussines ventures. Im knee deep in a pretty cool business called Ten Tiny Toes. The idea started with making “re-born” baby dolls and grew into a whole baby boutique, making and saleing baby clothes, furniture, etc. Im pretty excited about that, we have 7 orders fof dolls we’re working on already (Go God Go!) and Now my boutique, which I plan to have by my birthday 2012.

Pheeeeeeeeew, 2012 is gonna be an exciting year…

I figure Im gonna spend alot of time on this blog because right now, Im bored out of my mind (when Im not drawing or helping with the dolls).

Anyway, thats my update-alation…

Barbie Out ;-*

I Have Spent one half of my summer felling like SHIT...

I stepped outside of myself for a good month and a half, and tried to adapt to my surroundings, thinking I would be happier, and all it has done is made me feel even worst about myself than I did before.

I’ve been accused for being stuck up,a goody two shoes, and up tight, I wouldn’t completely agree, but I did notice that for a girl who is turning 22 years old, I hadn’t done half the things others my age has done, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t want to or because I was too afraid too. So I decided that I was going to “break out of my shell” and try some new things, go out, drink, date, blah blah blah. I threw out my rules, and compromised myself for the approval of other people (i.e a damn boy) and for the last week I have been seriously paying for it.

That “not good enough” feeling has been with me for a while, and ugliness, not just looking uglier but felling it. Then on top of that I feel used and played…and I hate to admit it, but a little heart broken. My feelings are seriously hurt.

And my feelings haven’t been this hurt since I was 17 and the guy I thought liked me took my virginity in exchange for a pair of old school J’s.

So Pathetic, Because I had rules, and even though I was talked about for having these rules, I needed them, I developed them to keep me from having to go threw those feelings again, And here I am now, kneck deep in them, and more, like the anxiety I wake up with every morning because of the great possibility that I might be living for two now.

I’ve never been so disappointed in myself than I’am now (or was a couple of hours ago because I’m lightweight over it). I lost myself for acceptance, it’s like I let my insecurities take full force and mold me into someone I don’t even know, and it happened in a small month and few weeks. SMH.

After alot of praying and locking myself in the bathroom crying , I’ve decided it’s time to get over myself. I’ve spent to much time felling sorry for myself, and letting the summer days pass by, and I wont spend another day doing that. Although these experiences have been the reason for my stress, I figure I’m wiser to see this as a lesson than an awful mistake. I’ve found humor in the situation, I’ve forgiven the ones who has caused me harm, and even though I haven’t fully forgiven myself (yet), I know that God and my Mom has.

I’m going to spend the rest of this summer liking myself again, starting with sticking to my old rules and making room for new ones, though they where a bit strict, they where merited because they kept me grounded. I’m going to go into things slower with an open mind, do things to please myself, and leave the comments and opinions from others at the door. It’s like the saying goes: ”Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

If I do find out I’m carrying, I will treat it like the blessing it is instead of the baggage I’m told it should be.I have been prepareing myself mentally, physically, and stabally, and if it is that Im not, I’ve learned another great lesson (STRAP UP) and I will be prepared for my single adult life.

:o I fell like I can breath now that I got all that off my chest. So yeah, basically I’m going to spend the rest of this summer being the shit instead of felling like shit LMPAO

<3 Barbie

"I'll give It A Year..."

That’s my deadline, one year. A year for what?

A year to get pregnant.

Ain’t that about a sweaty bitch? I’m being given a year to become a damn baby mama. I wouldn’t be so pissed off if this was coming from people I didn’t know, but apparently this is coming from my inner circle.

I’m seriously befuddled right now. It’s not that I don’t ever want to have kids, and it’s not that I fell like having them will destroy my life….It’s just that I’m only 21, single, in school and barely able to fully care for myself and here go the people I figured always had my back and knew, rooting for me to DROWN. I mean, are you seriously discussing and betting on my failure right now?

Normal families say things like, “She’ll be MARRIED next,” or “I’ll give it a year before she’s OUT ON HER OWN,” but no, I cant even get hopes on landing a career or getting a fucking boyfriend before I get hopes on getting pregnant.

Backwards.

Maybe I’m the only one who watched my Mommy taking care of two kids by herself, and taking note on how what she was going threw was not fun and games but was very much so struggle. I vowed when I was a little kid playing house and Barbies that I will NEVER be the woman going off about what her baby’s father will and wont do, and struggling to make ends meet.

I can totally understand how the ring don’t mean a thing to some people but it mean a whole hell of a lot to me, just like my education means a lot to me, just like my career means a lot to me, and just like my well being means a lot to me. And I can guarantee you naysayers, waiting for my down fall, that just like FUCKING, having kids is no where in my near future.

But I thank you for your hopes, because these hopes are the reason I spend my every waking and sleeping moment chasing and catching dreams, because idk about this so called “reality” that yall have created where its ok to do CRAZY stuff like this… Man…

Im to threw.

<3 Barbie

Happy Valentines Day

OMK, I absolutely love Valentines Day, and I think the Rain makes it that much more better, even though it’s keeping a lot of people in today. I hope everyone is having a great day, be it with here loved ones or with themselves ;) And Spread the Love! It’s contagious!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERY BODY! ;-*

-Barbie

BreakFast At Tiffany's

Early this morning, I went out wondering around thinking and I found myself in a scene from on of my favorite movies, Break fast at Tiffany’s.

I stood in front of Tiffany & Co. sipping my hot chocolate and nibbling on my old school doughnut I picked up from Starbucks, peering threw the shop windows at the sparkly displays admiring the beauty of the simple stones.

I never understood why Holly Golightly made stopping at Tiffany’s apart of her morning routine, but if it related to my experience, I get it now. All the stress that have been weighting me down felt as if it drifted away. I was thinking clearly, seeing things differently, and I walked away from there feeling light as a feather.

It’s hard to explain with out sounding crazy that I had a small therapy session by just staring at diamonds, but that’s exactly what happened. All the answers to my problems weren’t answered but I came to the realization that I can’t fix everything, that’s OK. What I can do is appreciate the small things, take notes on the beauty around me, and be happy. Because no matter how hard things get, I’m still alive.

I can still enjoy ice cream, go to the beach, watch a sunset, look at the stars, or admire the beauty of a diamond over Starbucks…

;-*Barbie

Happy Birthday Granny

When I was 5 my granny told me I was going to be a big star. When I was 9 I watched for the first time, the Victoria Secrets Fashion Show (the first fashion show I ever saw) with her and she told me that one day I would be up there, and I believed her.When I was 12 I told her I wanted to be a dancer and she introduced me to Josephine Baker, and said I would be as legendery as she is, and I believed her. One day I told my granny I wanted to be a singer and she told me I’d be as big as Michael Jackson, and I believed her. When I was 13 my Granny took me to meet the Fabulous Females, The Raiderettes, and she said one day I was going to be a Raiderette and I believed her.

My Granny told me when I was 15 to Dream big and live bigger, Live to Love and Love to live, and to live to please yourself. When my Granny was alive I believed that I can conquer the world all because she said I can, and I believed her, because I knew she believed in me. Since she’s been gone, I fell so stuck, as if I cant get out of the situation I been in, and it wasn’t until I was cleaning my room up and found a book she gave me for my 16th birthday with a message in it saying:

”To my loving Granddaughter, remember that there is only one Zacoria and you are unique. Read this book and be all you can be.”

Idk why but that brought me back to the girl I was when she was here, and I believed again that I can do anything I wanted to do.

R.I.P granny, I miss you more than you would ever know, and Love you that much more, everything I do, I do to please you.

<3

Chrysler Eminem Super Bowl Commercial - Imported From Detroit

Favorite Super Bowl 2011 commercial, idk why, but that inspirational feeling just gets inside of me everytime I hear that guitar! “Loose YourSelf” -Eminem

Pepsi MAX® - Love Hurts -- Crash the Super Bowl 2011 Finalist

Funniest Commercial from Super Bowl 2011

GREEN & YELLOW GREEN & YELLOW

GREEN BAY PACKERS TOOK THE TITLE AS WORLD CHAMPIONS! After a hard season of seriously putting in WORK to get to the play ship, they got there and won, and Rodgers took home MVP and a sexy New Red Camero, which he so deserved, he was putting in major work on that field tonight, not to mention the whole season.





The Half time show was GREAT, The Black Eye Peas out did them selves with th light up dancers, and bringing Usher out was a nice touch. IT WAS AWOME! What wasnt Awsome was how Christina Aguilera butchered the National Anthem, I mean GEEEZ WTF? That was a big disapointment. I was exspecting her to atleast hit Whitney Houston’s version considering the fact that she was being compared to her, but WHATEVER, it’s over, next years choice will be better (because the Raiders will be there.)

This is the 3rd year I’ve called the winner! I need to start putting money down on it LOL

But did you guys see how the Steelers was trying to cheat? And kept on crying and whineing like PooPoo 49ers? UGH! So annoying, idk what Whiz Khalif was trying to say when he made that “Black and Yellow” song… “You know what it is.” What is it? A team of Cheating ass cry babies? I aint digging that, and for all the awsome people who never cared for the Steelers but became instant fans after that weak ass song, CONGRATS ON YOUR LOSE LMAO.




Clap for The Heavy Weight Champs… ;D

Introducing: Ms. Dorothy Dandridge

Dorothy Jean Dandridge, aslo known as Dottie Mae or “Black Peoples Marilyn Monroe,” was born in Clevland Ohio to Actress Rubby Dandridge November 9th, 1922. She started her career singing at local churches and lounges with her sister Vivian, and they later moved to LA to further the career in entertainment. There Dorothy landed her first acting gig in a movie, “A Day at The Races.” It was a bit part but it drove Dorothy to try harder and she later got roles in films like “Four shall Die” and “Hit Parade of 1943.”

Dorothy graced a few movies but none of them where as big as her role in “Carmen Jones” (1954) where she was nominated for an Academy Award for best Actress. Unfortunately she did not win, and it didnt change her luck in the world of acting, she didnt land her next role untill 1958 in “Tamango.”

Dorothy suffered from manic deppresion, and it got worst for her after the failure of her second marriage, and feeling little success for her acting career. Dorothy’s last movie was “Murder Men” (1961). 1965, Dorothy was found dead in her L.A home due to an accidental overdose of perscription drugs, she was 42 years old.

In her legacy she leaves her daughter Harrolyn Nicholas.

She was the first African American Woman to be nominated for an Academy Award, and also the first to grace the cover of TIME magazine. She was the first choice for the Role of Cleopatra, but it was given to Elizabeth taylor instead.

If it wasnt for dorothy we wouldnt have Angela Bassets, Nia Longs, or Halle Berry’s, who happens to be the only African American Woman who has actually won an Academy award.

#myhistory

I LOVE Strawberry MilkShakes

Strawberry Milk Shakes are like...Love, Love out of nothing at all LOL

Black History Month

“History become Myth, Myth becomes Legend, Legend Becomes Fairytale.”

This month take it upon yourself to learn and Teach your peers and youth about OUR history. Make it a goal to learn about how we cotributed to EVERYONES life, and how we continue to change the world.

If you dont know where you came from, you wont know where you going. It’s not just black history its everyones history.

Reacurring Dream

So last night I had a dream that I was getting dressed to leave and go some where. My hair was pulled back into a pony tail, had on some jeans and a t-shirt, Grabbed my keys and purse, went to the front door ad opened it and there I was, Standing in my way to leave. We made moves to the side trying to get around the other, but every time I would step to the left, the me in my way would step to the left. When I would step to the right, the other me would step to the right. So I’m like “Can you move? I’m trying to get out,” and the me in the way goes, “Well I’m trying to get in.”

The dream ended with me (and the me in the way) giving up and sitting on the floor in front of each other, at the door, staring at each other, waiting for the other to move out the way.

When I first had the dream I barely remembered it, but be it that this is about the seventh time I’ve dreamed the exact same dream since I was 16 years old, I cant help but think that maybe I’m missing something, so I sent an email to a dream interpreter telling her about the recurring dream and this was her reply:

“The dream means exactly what it showed you. You open doors for new opportunities for your self, but you miss out on them because your standing in your own way, and that’s crippling you to the point where you don’t get nothing you want done.”

I read the email in amazement, not because she knew what it meant, but because I felt this way already. I would want to do things, and have everything set up for me to do it, but never go threw with it. It was like I was scared or something. Scared that I wasnt going to do something right, scared of failing. The thought of failing, makes me not even want to try (I blame my pride).

Then not going after these things put me in a deep depression, I end up failing like I lost any way.

After coming up with this life changing epiphany, I’ve decided to get out of my way. I always hear people saying “Nothing beats a failure but a try,” but my Grand Dad Say’s “If your trying, your not doing.” So I wonder, if nothing beats a failure but a try, then what beats a try?

…A Do